Here's What will happen to the monarchy when King Charles dies

Operation Menai Bridge is code for the plans related to King Charles' death. Though details about the plan are tightly guarded, his passing will trigger immediate changes in both the monarchy and the UK. 

Here's what will happen. I if I should award myself an honour, something grand-sounding. How about Most Excellent Keeper of the Belfry? It has a nice ring about it, even if I have done nothing to deserve it. 

That latter consideration is of course no bar to our fossilised royal family who have this week breezily been giving themselves ludicrous sounding honours as if this were 1724, not 2024. 

Camilla is now, as of yesterday, the Grand Master of the Order of the British Empire. What empire, you might ask? Rockall was Ronnie Barker’s pithy response, and that was about 40 years ago. Kate is now a Companion of Honour, an award reserved for those who have excelled in the world of the arts, medicines, or science. 

Is this perhaps for creative doctoring of photographs? The Duchess of Gloucester – there’s a household name – has been made a Member of the Order of the Garter, an Order created by the king in 1348 to reward his court favourites (while, incidentally, beyond the palace walls, much of the population was dying from the Black Death). 

William has not missed out either (even if Harry has). The Prince of Wales is now Great Master of the Order of the Bath. Well it won’t wash. The honours in themselves are absurd, and make the mythical Ruritania look like a beacon of modernity. 

So much for the spin from the palace that the monarchy was going to be modernised under Charles. Perhaps the latest medals are to be made from recycled precious metals?